At college tonight (yes, I am a Born Again Student, and I get discount at New Look and Indian taakeways) the teacher handed out our next assignment. I usually get excited at the thought of a new assignment, but something the teacher (tutor? lecturer?) said was reverberating around my head.
"Hand it in at the start of the next lesson....on June 1st".
June the 1st, June the 1st..........Oh My Dear God (OMDG in textspeak) June the sodding 1st!!!!!!! That is the day I can drink again, the day I hope I will be savouring a pint of Carlsberg in an Oz Clarke kind of way.
I have two weeks to come up with a cast iron excuse (we can only miss one lesson or we fail the course, and I think I am at Glasto for one of them).
Here's a few for starters...
1. Fleetwood Mac are playing at the Charlotte, which is re-opening and I am the official photographer (as I am 'studying' photography, they'll like this).
2. Leicester City ladies have reached the Womens Champions League final, and I play for them at right back (clearly, no-one knows anything about women's football as it is rubbish, so this is almost feasible, as the men's final is that week too).
3. I am Elle Macpherson's foot double, in her latest modelling shoot (it's a little known fact that Elle MacPherson has size 11 feet, and explains why photographs of her usually are cut off at the ankles).
Wait a minute, these are not excuses, it's just a list of my ideal ways to spend a day - bugger!
Back to the drawing board.
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